is wine microwaveable?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize