If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
