Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
