I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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