Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
