Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
