I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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