S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
