Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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