So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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