**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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