I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
