He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
