Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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