Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
