ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
