Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
