What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
birth control should be required to get into college
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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