Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
