sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
