OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
