And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
FUCK WHALES
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
