I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
