Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
