I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
