Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize