Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize