I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
