; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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