he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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