she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
