you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
