Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize