problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
