I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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