I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
