he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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