32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
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for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
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"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE