Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
