Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
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No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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