so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
