His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
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Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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