Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
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On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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