she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
