biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
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I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
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What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
How naked do you want me to be?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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