Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
try to milk me bitch
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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