I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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