i permit you to call me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
