at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
