we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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