we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize