it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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