well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
