at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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