he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
