I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize
