my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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