I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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