Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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