Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
