Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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