Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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