i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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