i wish peter jackson would direct porn
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
