Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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